i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
