also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Someone came in the potted fern
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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