I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize