My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
