is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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