Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
