If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I have fence marks all over my body
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
