Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
