i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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