i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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