It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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