Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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