Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
