I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
