I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
