For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
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Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He has the fingertips of a God
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