No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
