just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
