Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
