I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
