sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can you repeat that, but with context?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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