did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize