I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
