Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
