Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
