I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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