my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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