What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
