all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
