I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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