Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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