As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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