i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.