I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.