take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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