I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
