he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
