smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
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dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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