well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
