mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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