at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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