You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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