Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the day after is always just damage control
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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