I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
