finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
