come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize