i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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