Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
