i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
