OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
