the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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