Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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