her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
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I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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