So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
