you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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