Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize