At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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