dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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