I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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