He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
