fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Randomize