do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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