You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You pole danced in your parka.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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